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Content warning: Parts two and three are set in the household of a gay couple. While there are no explicit M/M scenes, some of the content explores the challenges specific to being gay and bi-sexual. If this makes you uncomfortable (in a bad way) you might not want to read on.
Sunlight peeking through the slats of the blinds woke me up. I was disoriented for a moment, not recognizing my surroundings. It all came back to me when I spied my duffel bag on the chair. I was in my brother’s spare bedroom.
I sat up and assessed my condition. I didn’t feel bad. I hadn’t drank enough to suffer a hangover, apparently. That, or the aspirin that Bryan gave me at bedtime did the trick.
I swung my legs over the side of the bed and plucked my phone from my duffel, where I’d tossed it the night before.
10:08. Bryan should be in class. Daniel is probably still sleeping. And another missed call. Shit.
I dropped the phone, located my toothbrush and paste in my duffel, and then padded to the door in my oversized tee and cotton panties. My bladder was demanding attention. Everything else could wait.
I didn’t detect any signs of life as I glided across the hallway into the bathroom with no shower. I did notice that the other bedroom door was open, but didn’t think much of it. Bryan had an eight-thirty class, so the only person who could be in there was my brother, Daniel.
Several minutes later, I emerged with an empty bladder, fresh breath, and one thing on my mind…coffee. I headed straight for the kitchen.
I happened to spot Daniel sprawled out on the couch as I passed through the living room. His eyes fluttered open.
“Hey. What are you doing out here?”
He stretched and yawned before answering. “I got up with Bryan. Too lazy to go back to bed.”
I grinned and shook my head. I missed that part of being in college. Turning back toward the kitchen, I refocused on my primary objective.
“Bring me a cup, too, will ya?”
I nodded as I searched through the cabinets to find their mugs. I didn’t have to look for long. Bryan put them just where I would, if this were my house. I credited him for doing that because I knew that my brother would just pile them on the counter, not bothering to put them away, if he had his way.
I filled both mugs with coffee from the pot that Bryan had obviously made before he left for his class.
“Cream and sugar?”
I doctored his coffee and shuffled to the living room. I set his mug in front of him, and then took a seat in the chair adjacent to the sofa.
I nodded as I took my first sip.
“I only have one class today. Bryan has three. His schedule sucks this semester.”
Bryan and Daniel were both in their third year of college. Ordinarily, that would mean they were both juniors. Bryan had enough credits to technically be a senior, though. He was on course to graduate at least a semester before Daniel.
I’d never given it much thought. Before yesterday, I didn’t know they were a couple, but I wondered what they planned to do after school.
“Is Bryan going to graduate this semester, or in the fall?”
“He’s one class short of graduating this year.”
“What are you guys going to do after he graduates?”
“He’s going to just get a job here until I finish school. Probably ride me endlessly to study, being the bitch that he is.”
“Oh, please. You love that he pushes you. Mom and Dad never did.”
“Don’t start on the whole, ‘you got away with murder growing up’, thing. It gets old.”
“Okay, I won’t. But you did.”
Daniel scowled at me.
“You didn’t exactly grow up with strict rules, yourself. I don’t recall you getting grounded for all those times you snuck out of the house. Or even the time you puked all over the bathroom after coming back from a party. How old were you then, sixteen?”
I held up my hand. “Okay. I get it. Truce. Is that what your problem was last night?”
“The way you got all pissed off about me hanging out with Kieran.”
“No. That was … You should stay away from him.”
“Just…because. He’s not your type.”
I had come to the same conclusion, but it was sort of insulting to hear it from my brother. “Why is that? Because he’s smart, and obviously comes from a rich family?”
“No. Hell, no. That’s not why.”
I waited to hear his reasoning, but after almost a minute of silence, it became clear that he wasn’t going to elaborate. “What is it about Kieran that you’re not telling me?”
“It’s nothing, okay? Just drop it. You’re not going to pry Kieran’s dirty little secrets from me. He’s a friend. A good friend.”
“Why is it okay for him to be your friend and not mine?”
“You can be friends with whoever you want. I just don’t think you should get involved with him, that’s all.”
I had no intention of doing anything with Kieran. We’d had a good time. I obviously felt comfortable enough with him poker oyna to share some of my private affairs. It bothered me that he didn’t do the same, but I didn’t ask, either. My mind was buzzing with alcohol at the time, and let’s face it, I was a little self-absorbed.
My mind wandered to our incidental kiss. That was the best way to categorize it. It wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t been trying to appear occupied while that other couple walked past us in the park. It hardly counted as a real kiss, though it felt pretty real.
Warmth blanketed my body all at once. A mild flutter took root between my thighs and my toes curled in response. That fucking kiss…
“Are you alright?”
I blinked myself back to the present moment. “Yeah. Fine. Are you hungry?”
“Nah. Help yourself, though. I think we have cereal.”
I wasn’t particularly hungry, yet. I just couldn’t think of anything to say to get my brother’s attention off of me.
“At some point, are you gonna tell me what spooked you so bad that you had to drive all the way down here to hide from it? Did some guy propose or something?”
I hated how transparent my aversion to commitment was. Even my brother could see it. “No marriage proposals.”
Daniel studied me silently for a couple of seconds. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to. I would’ve just stayed home if I didn’t want to talk about it to someone. It’s just…It’s pretty fucked up. I don’t know how you’re going to take it.”
“I really don’t have any room to judge, sis.”
“At least you’re in a committed relationship. It’s admirable. Whereas, this…this is totally…” I didn’t want to say the word that came to mind. Shameful. I was ashamed of being someone’s mistress.
“I wouldn’t go putting our relationship up on a pedestal. We’re not the perfect couple that you think we are.”
I wanted to ask Daniel what he meant by that, but I knew that I’d just be delaying the inevitable. “I’ve been seeing someone for over a month now. He’s older.” I paused to take a breath. “And married.”
I checked Daniel’s expression. It hadn’t changed. He didn’t even flinch. It gave me the guts to continue.
“His wife isn’t interested in sex. Not with him, anyway, so they have this agreement that he can sort of screw around with whoever he wants.”
I paused to check Daniel’s reaction. He shrugged. “Yeah, so?”
His reaction reminded me of Kieran’s when I told him. Was I so out of touch with reality that I was the only one who had an issue with this? “Okay, well, so, he and I have been sort of dating.”
“Is that it?”
“Well, no. Not exactly. A couple of days ago, he asked me if I might consider getting pregnant so they could have a child.”
“Oh, cool. So, I’m going to be an uncle?”
“No, NO! I decided last night that I’m definitely not going to do it.”
“Really. Last night?”
“Yeah. Kieran actually helped me to see what a legal mess this whole thing would be.”
“He would. Wait. You told him all this? You just met him.”
“I know. I guess sometimes it’s easier to confess your intimate secrets to someone you hardly know.”
Daniel nodded in agreement.
“Anyway, I haven’t told Miles, yet. That’s his name. He’s called me, like, three times. Probably more by now.”
“You have to tell him.”
“I know, I know. It’s just that…I need to end this whole relationship, you know? It’s not good for me. I hate to say this, but I think I want more. Not from Miles. I’m through with him. But from someone; I don’t know who.”
“That’s kind of a big step for the party girl.”
“Oh, shut up.”
Daniel chuckled. “I’m just kidding. That’s good, Bree. Glad that you’re settling down some.”
“Yeah, well, we’ll see. Talking about it, and doing it, are two different things.”
“It’s a step.”
I stood up with my now empty mug in my hand and went to the kitchen to put it in the dishwasher. Suddenly, I had an urge to tie up loose ends. I needed to listen to Miles’ messages and then formulate my exit strategy.
Daniel was lifting a textbook off the table. It looked like he needed to study, so it was the perfect time for me to scoot back to the spare bedroom.
There were two messages on my phone, both from Miles. One of them was left while I was driving. The other one, late last night. He’d called again before I woke up, but he didn’t leave a message. I wondered why I didn’t wake up, then realized that I had turned the ringer off.
The first message was simple. He’d just listened to my rambling message about going to Austin to think things over. He was surprised, but understood. He asked me to call him when I arrived. Oops!
The next message was a little different. He sounded irritated that I hadn’t called him, even though his message stated that he was worried. He expressed more urgently that we needed to talk. Then, he mentioned that Nancy wanted to talk to me.
I felt a little sick at the thought of discussing their offer with her. I knew she’d canlı poker oyna just pour on her sob story in an effort to convince me to do it. I wasn’t going to give her the opportunity, though. I’d made up my mind. It was no longer up for discussion.
I heard a faint rapping at my brother’s front door.
Whoever it was, Daniel must know him, or her. I gripped the door to my bedroom and swung it shut so I could pull on some jeans. Running around in a tee shirt and underwear was fine in front of my brother. Not so much, in front of strangers.
I heard muffled male voices through the door but couldn’t make out what they were saying. A minute later, I was striding into the living room only to have my heart skip a beat. It was Kieran.
I glanced between Kieran and Daniel for a few seconds, not sure what to think of this morning visit. “No classes today?”
“Not until this afternoon. I have a light schedule this semester.”
Daniel grumbled, “Lucky bastard.”
Kieran shoved Daniel’s shoulder. “Oh, please. You have nothing to complain about.”
Daniel elbowed Kieran back, and a little wrestling match ensued. It was brief.
“Your brother can be such a punk sometimes.”
“I totally agree.”
This was a little different side of Kieran than I’d seen before. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. He’d always been so reserved when talking with me. Here, he was so much more relaxed. I was intrigued, I had to admit.
I was starting to get the feeling that maybe I’d misjudged him.
I debated on whether or not to go to Daniel’s. I could’ve easily skipped it, had it not been for Bree. Knowing she would be there made it all the more difficult to resist.
Daniel obviously wouldn’t want to carry out our usual routine with his sister there. At least that’s what I was counting on, because I was there to see her, not him.
She didn’t disappoint, either. She was even more adorable with her hair all mussed up and no make-up, than she was the night before. And those tits…fuck. I was having a hell of a time not staring at them as they swayed freely beneath that loose cotton tee shirt.
Daniel glanced down at my obvious erection and rolled his eyes. My gaze darted to Bree. She didn’t see him do it, thankfully.
“So, what do you guys have planned for today?”
Daniel smirked for a second, and then shrugged his shoulders. I could guess the errant thought that crossed his mind. He wasn’t difficult to read. Besides, he had a one-track mind.
I ignored him and looked up at Bree, instead. “Have you been to the campus, yet?”
Bree shook her head as she took a seat in the chair. “Not yet. I was thinking about just riding there with Daniel, and then hanging out until he gets done with his class. Is that okay with you, little brother?”
“Fine with me.”
“I have a better idea. Why don’t you ride with me. I’ll show you around until my class starts at two. You can catch a ride back with him.”
Daniel wouldn’t make eye contact with either of us as I spelled out my suggestion. I knew he wouldn’t approve, being the selfish prick that he is. I turned my attention to Bree. The question was, how was she going to handle it, given Daniel’s obvious disapproval?
Bree rolled her eyes at Daniel and then locked gazes with me. “I like it. Let’s do that, instead. How long do I have before we leave?”
I checked my phone. “Depends on if you want to stop and grab a bite to eat.”
I knew I was pushing it with Daniel, but I didn’t give a fuck.
“Definitely. I’m hungry.”
“Then, one hour.”
“Great. I’m going to jump in the shower.”
With that, Bree was gone, taking her magnificent, bouncing tits with her.
Daniel waited until he heard water running to address me.
“Don’t fuck my sister, man.”
I held up my hands in surrender. “I make no guarantees.”
“What the fuck happened after we left last night?”
“Nothing, I swear. We just talked. Mostly.”
“I’m just kidding. Fuck, lighten up. I don’t get the impression that she’s exactly all sweet and innocent, so I don’t know what your problem is with me seeing her.”
“Yes, you do. You know exactly what my problem is.” Daniel glanced over the back of the sofa toward his bedroom door to make sure Bree wasn’t there. He lowered his voice and leaned toward me, anyway. “If she wasn’t here, that’d be you and me in that shower.”
He had a point, though it was a weak one.
“You planning to tell her about our little ‘situation’?”
“Not really. It’ll probably come out that I’m bi at some point, though.”
“What about your job? Have you mentioned that to her?”
“Not yet. I will. Eventually, I guess. She’s only here for a week. Shit, why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
“It’s my fucking sister, asshole.”
“Yeah. Your older sister. The way you’re acting, you’d think I was trying to get into the pants of a teenager or internet casino something. Lighten, the fuck, up.”
“Just promise me that you won’t get attached.”
“That’s easy. She’ll probably change her mind about me once she finds out I’m bi, anyway. It tends to be a deal-breaker. If not that, then the job seals it for sure.”
Daniel winced. He was remembering the scene that Janice had made on his front lawn after one of our friends slipped about me being an exotic dancer. That was the end of that relationship.
“Look…I honestly don’t know what’s going to happen with me and Bree. She’s fun to hang out with, that’s all. I feel real comfortable around her; way more than most girls. You know how I am. Can’t you just be happy that we get along?”
Daniel shrugged one shoulder. “I guess.”
I realized that I was probably being somewhat of a prick to Daniel. Thursday mornings had been our time together since the semester started. It was just how our schedules worked out. I slid my hand onto Daniel’s thigh and squeezed it.
“Don’t remind me of what I’m missing right now.”
It’d probably been days since Bryan had done anything for Daniel. That’s just the way he was. He didn’t have the sex drive that Daniel did. Not that it mattered to their relationship. There was no way they were ever going to split up.
So, I stepped in when I wasn’t seeing someone else. Mostly to satisfy Daniel’s rampant lust, but on occasion, as a third for both of them. It satisfied something in me, too. It gave me the sexual outlet that I needed.
It wasn’t ideal. Shit, what situation is, really? I went along with it because there wasn’t one chance in hell I was going to get a girl to accept me for who I really was. Only a guy would understand. So, for now, I slept with guys and fantasized about girls.
Last night, I jacked off to fantasies about a particular girl. One that seemed to be involved in her own strange threesome at the moment. The similarities were remarkable. I wasn’t so sure she’d think so. She’d have to open up her mind a little more before that would happen.
Kieran must’ve talked to Daniel while I was in the shower because he had a whole different attitude about me riding to campus with Kieran when I came out. I would’ve given anything to be a fly on the wall during that conversation.
I threw on a front zip hoodie with nothing underneath except my Victoria’s Secret magic bra that made my C cups look more like double Ds. The zipper gave me the freedom to show as much cleavage as I wanted. I started out with a more conservative neckline. So far, Kieran had hardly shown any interest in “the girls”. I was having a real hard time reading him. He seemed interested, but not. Maybe without my brother around, I could get to the bottom of it.
God, what are you doing, Bree? You’re not here to start something. You haven’t even officially broken it off with Miles, yet.
I’d fallen right back into my old routine of approaching every eligible man as a conquest and nothing more. Obviously, there was little to be gained from starting something with Kieran. He lived miles away from me, and would soon be graduating from college and doing who-knows-what. There was no chance of anything substantial, and wasn’t that what I really wanted? Not some one-night stand.
Kieran is not some prize to be won. He’s Daniel’s friend. He’s my friend. Just be satisfied with that.
Kieran drove a lap around campus, circling the iconic UT tower until we’d seen it from all sides, then we parked and walked to the south lawn. Students were scattered on the grass, evenly spaced. Some were eating lunch, some chatting with friends, while others were reading or studying. Everyone there had a common purpose. I marveled at how tight-knit of a culture the university campus actually was. When I was in school, I never saw it. Being in the corporate world was a stark contrast to university living. Competitive, even cut-throat, at times.
I’d driven past the campus previously, but this was my first look up-close. It had a similar feel to UNT, but not exactly the same. My university was comprised of a lot of commuters, which is a very different sort of dynamic. I lived at home for the majority of my college tenure, as did many of my friends. It was more an extension of high school, than a life change. I didn’t know that I’d missed out on something important.
I glanced over at Kieran, realizing I’d been lost in thought for quite a while. I felt guilty for not being better company.
“I’m sorry. I’ve just been soaking in the atmosphere. It’s different. More, I don’t know, cohesive, I guess.”
Kieran nodded and scanned the little groupings of coeds on the lawn.
“Where are you from, Kieran?”
Kieran grinned at me. “How drunk were you last night?”
“Oh, shit. Did I already ask you that question?”
“I’m sorry. God, I’m so embarrassed. I didn’t think I drank that much.”
“It’s okay. No big deal. Edmond, Oklahoma.”
“Oh, that’s right. The north side of Oklahoma City.”
“Is that where your parents live now?”
“Yeah. They’ll never leave that area.”
“Are you planning to move back there after graduation?”
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